This is a week that I've been dreading.
For more than a few months I find myself challenged, almost daily, by circumstances that are harsh and disorganized. It is hard at this point in my life to be treated so disrespectfully and so crudely. It's compounded by my health challenges that have been surprisingly gentler to handle.
Even though my head tells me that this chaos has little to do with me, because of my conditioning, my first response is always emotional and irrational. Because someone treats me poorly, the reflex is to believe that their treatment is justified. It's hard for me to believe sometimes how people make the decisions that they do, that ultimately are not in their best interests.
I guess what suprises me most is that for most of my career, I have listened to thousands of stories of people who have made choices that weren't in their best interests. And I of course, am also guilty of making choices that came back to bite me.
So, what I don't get is why someone who could use my help right now, chooses to insult me instead. It does not make sense.
I've certainly pondered all the reasons that could explain this scenario. None of them seem rational in the real world. I supposed the most understandable reason is self-preservation in a desperate situation- basic animal survival where you lose your moral compass, but you do what you have to do. There are less kind explanations of this behavior as well but that's not what I choose to think about today.
Today, I need to prepare myself for facing the challenges with grace and dignity. I need to reflect on my strengths and not my weaknesses.
I gained some perspective on recent events last week and although it doesn't change the situation, it did help me understand it better and oddly, give me confidence that I can handle whatever comes.
Writing helps me find my center- helps me find a new angle, perhaps one that reminds me of what is important and what is not.
My plan for the week:
I will focus on helping my clients this week, more than ever.
I will breathe, relax and meditate.
I will pray for the strength and flexibility of a deep-rooted tree in a strong wind.
I will ask for support from the people in my life who show me love.
I will remember the things I know to be true no matter what I hear from those who don't know me.
I will think of the wonderful things in my life and feel gratitude.
I will be patient with others even while they are impatient with me.
And I will rest when the week is done.