Sunday, March 22, 2009

My Reasons for Gratitude Today

 I really believe in the power of gratitude.  Even before I learned that Oprah and the Big Book extoll the virtues of it, I made it a point to try to focus on the positive things in my life that I had, rather than on what I didn't have.

Because I'm so not perfect however, it is difficult sometimes to practice what I preach to my clients.

It's so much easier it seems to get all snarled up about having rain instead of sun.  Or a 35 minute commute to work on a beautiful stretch of 280. 

Or sometimes I think about how this place will never sell and we won't own a place together.

Sometimes, I focus on the five extra pounds I see in the mirror, or the fact that there is no other hairstyle choice for me than buzzing it short (unless I try the comb- over thing...ewwww) or shaving it bald.

I wish my seven year old Miata was a sleek, sporty Beamer with automatic convertible top instead this nasty old manual one.  

I wonder sometimes if maybe I should have chosen music over psychology as a career.

And then I walk into the living room and Brad is watching basketball with Ella snug in his lap and my whole perspective shifts.

How fortunate I am to have a home, a job, my health, my rattly top down after the rain and someone to love. 

I take a deep breath and as I exhale, I think to myself "life is good."

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Dark Side

When I was young, and I was a little, gay fundamentalist Christian, I learned that Jesus turned the other cheek. You see, Jesus was a very mild-mannered man, a very spiritual and peaceful man, for the most part.

In my mind's eye, Jesus was unshakeable, unflappable, and he overcame injustice and shallow-minded people with consistency and wisdom. The example followed by MLK Jr. and exemplified by Ghandi.

Of course there was another image of Jesus in the Bible as well. The one who, for once, showed his fury to the money changers, who were making a mockery of the church, by knocking around their tables and scaring the be-Jesus out of them.

Was he a pacifist at all cost? There seems to be sufficient evidence that he was not ( However, he did preach patience and non-violence and at least in my little mind back then, overrode the Old Testament "eye for an eye" mentality that struck me as just "icky."

So where am I going with this?

You guessed it: Dick Cheney.


Today I see in the news that Dick is now saying that Obama's policies are making the US vulnerable for a terrorist attack- like the one that he and Georgie didn't prevent on 9/11, remember?

This is the second time now the most important VP ever in the history of the universe has chosen to speak out to predict disaster for the US (almost in a wishful way don't cha think?).

Ok, Obama started out trying to calm down the people ready for blood after the end of the Bush nightmare. "IMPEACH" they all screamed. "WAR CRIMINALS" a few chanted.

"No, "says Obama, "we need to move forward, not backwards." A pretty damned decent attempt to let "bygones be bygones" no matter how illegal and unethical the recent past adminstration has behaved.

Yet, instead of feeling grateful, and giving bipartisanship a chance to take the country in a new direction, Republican leadership in congress obstructs at every angle, Rush Limbaugh, their de facto leader openly hopes that America fails, and now Dickie boy is practically drooling at the thought of mayhem and disaster in the form of another major terrorist attack.

He can't WAIT until it happens on somebody else's watch!! After all, how will he repair and rewrite the Bush/Cheney legacy without it?

That where I find the temple dwellers story so intriguing. Jesus was a pacifist to a point.

He tried patience and turning the cheek, but since we only have two, after the second cheek is turned it's time for action against injustice.

Mr. Obama, you have shown great restraint, and great wisdom. But it's time now to step up and hold Bush and Cheney accountable for their misdeeds.

I could get all serious now and talk about what's already been said. Like NOT investigating these jerks sends absolutely the WRONG message to future leaders who take the law into their own hands and trample on our Constitution. If crimes have been committed, and I believe there is solid evidence that they have been, then it is your responsibility to hold them accountable. But, that is for another day, another columnist.

Cheney will not stop until you shut him up, Mr. President.

I want him stopped and I believe most of America wants him stopped.

Time to overturn the tables and banish the temple dwellers.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Ramble Redhead Interview

About a year ago, I had a guest appearance on the podcast, Gay Men Talking, hosted by my friends Alex and Dean to talk about my book, Loving Ourselves. Soon after that show was broadcast, I received a nice email from another podcast host, Tom, of The Ramble Redhead Show out of Indiana, asking me if I'd be a guest on his show. It took a while, but we finally made it happen and Tom just told me that he posted the interview today at his website, We talked a little bit about the book, but it was actually a lot more about me and my life (which I didn't expect!).

If you're interested, take a listen.