Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Colbert Destroys R.I. Governor For Denying Gay Couples Death Rights (VIDEO)

Wow bmathers! First, I have to commend you on your honesty about your personal discomfort around gays and about the beliefs that you have about gays that are responsible for those feelings.

Honesty is a good start.

I have to admit that I too had a secret fear...being around someone who boldly calls him or herself a "Christian". In my experience, many Christians are extremely hypocritical, preaching one thing and acting completely the opposite. Many Christians use their status to justify every bit of hatred and ignorance that they hold. Most Christians that I've met only hold a very superficial understanding of the Bible and do not follow even the most basic of his lessons, including "love they neighbor as thyself" or "judge ye not lest ye be judged". I have seen people who fervantly proclaim the gospel of Christ while doing horrible things to innocent children and adults.

However, I have learned over the years that actually, not all Christians are like that. Some Christian truly are kind, compassionate and loving people. A few are able to transcend the popular, self-serving version of the Bible and find within it a way to live peacefully with other people, without the need to judge or stereotype. I am proud to call them friends.

It was scary at first to step outside of the box of fears, irrational beliefs and even personal experiences with religious zealots, but ultimately was worth it.

I hope you consider doing the same.
About Stephen Colbert
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Thursday, November 12, 2009

PC Update

No, this isn't about the "PC" making the round on the talk shows about whether the military was being too "politically correct" in the case of Nidal Malik Hasan, the alleged Ft. Hood shooter, when they didn't reprimand him for bad performance on the job severely enough in the past because he was Muslim.

Come on. I just didn't imagine that 2009 would be the year of the neo-racist!

I probably should have thought a little more about it like Jimmy Carter did and realized that electing a black President, no matter how smart or qualified or handsome (yes, I said it..he's hot!), he symbolizes everything that racist whites have been fearing for years. The "takeover" of America by nonwhites who will then pay us back for years of not minding our own "stewardship" very well as the majority race.

And for eight years, the fires of hatred and fear were stoked daily by the Bush-Cheney-Rove machine to maintain control and power.

No, this PC is not about all that today.

It's the thing that's been on my mind the most lately. Protracted constipation... prostate of course.

You know, for a little guy that I hardly ever used to think about, he's managed to make himself known in a big way over the past few weeks.

Come to think of it, he's kinda like the Ft. Hood shooter afterall, going from obscurity to the objection of all attention.

He's acted up in a bad, bad way and now he must die for it.

My quandry is whether I should give him the death penalthy by radioactive injection, where he dies a slow death over time, or we anesthetize him and cut him out within a matter of hours.

Or, I could put him on parole, and just actively surveille him with checkups every three months to check his behavior and a full on parole board meeting once a year. Maybe he won't act up again? Hmmm, but who's responsible for him if he breaks parole and really spreads the damage around?

Hard to really have straightforward feelings at this point. Lots (too much) of information but no definitive answers.

It feels a little like that sensation you get when you've just rounded the top of the rollercoaster and you're just about to go flying down.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Living in the Moment

When I'm teaching my wellness classes, I spend a lot of time talking about living in the moment.

It sounds so good and makes so much sense.

All you really have is now, so fretting about what hasn't happened yet, or something traumatic from the past, is pretty much wasted time.

Mindfulness meditation is so rewarding when you practice regularly, but it's hard for me to maintain because of the demands of everyday living.

It is something that I want to add to my life again. I think it would be especially beneficial now.

I can feel so much emotion just beneath the surface- a lot of trapped fears just waiting for the right moment to express themselves.

But I don't have enough information yet to feel rationally. I haven't heard from all the experts, or done enough reading.

I want to feel sad that I have to make a serious life-changing decision, sooner than later.

I want to feel anxious that time is running out.

I want to feel anger that I have yet another obstacle in my way.

But, my belief is that there is a reason for everything. It is not mine to question, but to accept with grace.

That is especially hard when those feelings want to show up and ruin my peace.

For now, I am going to try to look around at what I have to be grateful for...Brad, this place, a job in a bad economy, good health when I need it to bear what's next.

Don't panic, I think to myself.

It is, what it is.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Also Means Opportunity

I've been taking a break from the blogging for a while.

Some things have come up and, well, sitting down to write hasn't been either convenient or something I felt the morivation to do.

The house has taken a lot of energy, but in a good way. Our first home together, my first home of my own, has been an endless joy of sweat and aching. I've watched too many "how to" videos on YouTube and WAY too much HGTV and DIY channels!

This year has been amazing in so many ways.

And it ws the year I discovered that I had prostate cancer.

If you are a friend or family person who did not know until now, I apologize.

I'm not exactly sure what the etiquette is for telling people about such things. I've tried to call or email as many people as I could, although I do wonder why exactly I am doing so. I mean it's kind of awkward for me and them and really, what can they say? I still have a bit of leftover something from my past that wants me to avoid pity or sympathy or attention about these kinds of things. Icky describes it well.

Another weird part of it all is that I have no symptoms. I changed insurances and decided to see my new primary care doc for a physical. He ran a PSA test and it came back elevated.

From there I was referred to a urologist who thought my prostate felt firm and recommended a biopsy.

A week afterwards, my phone rings while I'm at work and Dr. White shares the results that I have cancer.

I'm in shock for a couple of days after I think. It just doesn't register.

Now, three weeks later, I've seen a radiologist and have three appointments coming up with surgeons to talk about treatment options.

The good news is that it's early and curable.

The bad news is that all the treatment options carry risk of complications.

As the Chinese say, "Crisis also means opportunity".

I guess I have to make the most of it.